Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Randomize