I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
