I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I stole a fireplace last night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
