Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
