Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
