my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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