You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
