I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
