omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
