i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
