every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
