I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
