This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
