I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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