The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
