# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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