I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
