i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
