I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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