Do vagina's smell?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
