I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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