i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
