Sponge bath it is.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
