yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
