i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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