Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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