I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
