The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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