i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
