Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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