I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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