The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Enjoy the penises
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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