we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
All the doctor said was why
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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