so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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