the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
