So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
