we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
