Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
