i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize