like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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