i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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