it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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