spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
