I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
