If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
