We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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