ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
