hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
