Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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