I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
