she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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