i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
