Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
