he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
