two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
