i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
