he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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