I didn't shave. On purpose
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
