Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
